TRC Channel 7 News
by Violet Horizon
Summary: Sakura, Syaoran, Fai, Kurogane and Mokona broadcasting the news.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Sakura, Syaoran, Fai and Kurogane broadcasting the news.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of CLAMP's awesome, twisted and amazing work!

A/N: Got this idea from when I was in this TV production camp thing (which sucked by the way.) and we were doing a fake news broadcast and this idea randomly came to mind. I come up with the weirdest ideas...

* * *

Sakura and Syaoran were sitting at a large oak wooden table with papers in front of them. Behind them was a screen that showed the earth and the words: TRC Channel 7 News in large bolded letters with pretty pink sparkles circling around them (Fai's idea.)

Syaoran shuffled some papers silently onto the wood while Sakura sat patiently with her hands folded on her lap. She looked straight at the two cameras that were going to air them live in a couple of minutes. She felt a little nervous and worried that she'll mess up. Mokona who was controlling camera two, popped up and assured her that she'll be okay with a smile.

Then Yuko came out of the control room, holding up five fingers. "We're going in five! Four! Three! Two! And we're on baby!"

Sakura and Syaoran sweatdropped at that last unexpected phrase. Then dramatic music popped out of nowhere and soon the two teens were on the air. Syaoran coughed a bit nervously before speaking as he looked straight at the cameras that the Mokona's and Kero were controlling.

"Hello and welcome to TRC channel 7 news. I am Syaoran." Syaoran greeted with a timid smile.

"And I—I'm Sakura." Sakura stuttered a little as she quickly closed her mouth, turning to Syaoran who was now speaking, now feeling confident but there was a bit of tenseness in his voice.

"CLAMP has announced that there will be another Tsubasa OVA of the Infinity arc coming in February of 2009." Syaoran spoke, sounding a little hesitant. "If it becomes as popular as the Acid Tokyo arc, then there will probably be other OVAs coming up."

Now it was Sakura's turn to speak as the screen behind them changed from the world to Tokyo Tower where there were two certain teens fighting each other with long pointy and sharp swords.

"Uh…." Sakura sweatdropped before talking. "Since CLAMP hasn't finish X, the characters from the popular show and mange are protesting about the hiatus that has been going on for years. Since CLAMP isn't doing anything to solve this problem, the two saviors of the earth are battling each other to see who'll win without their creators help. But it looks like they're not doing a very good job…"

"YOU BROKE MY NAIL!" Kamui cried, a large blast shot out from his palms, tempting to hit Fuma but it broke part of the tower, 'causing it to fall on some poor innocent souls who have no idea what's going on what's so ever till pieces of the tower fall on top of their puny insignificant heads and they die.

Syaoran sweatdropped. "Now let's go to Fai-san with the weather."

Camera three who was controlled by Kero immediately turned on to the air. It zoomed over to Fai who was standing in front of the green screen that turned into a map of Japan. Unfortunately our dear Fai was wearing green and so all you could see was his head and arms.

He smiled at the camera, not knowing that he was practically invisible to everyone who was watching this. He pulled out his staff from who knows where and continued to smile joyfully, still oblivious.

"Here we have," He pointed the staff at Japan, turning his gaze at it. "Japan. It's surrounded by water and here's a hurricane coming on the right." He pointed to a swirl looking white thing that represented poorly of a hurricane.

"The hurricane's coming for us unfortunately. But don't worry, we'll all be safe!" He smiled happily making everyone in the room and the other ten billion people watching this shudder in fear. They didn't trust him, especially a certain ninja who faced palm.

"And here we have some more water." He circled the staff around the Pacific Ocean and smiled brightly at the camera, still not knowing that he was a floating head with arms. "And we have some more land…and water…and land…and water. Man my world is so much interesting than this."

Fai stared at the map looking pretty annoyed. Then his smile immediately came back on after a few seconds of silence. He then clasped his floating hands together (dropping his staff in the progress.) and beamed at the camera.

"And that's the weather for today! Back to you Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun!"

Camera three turned off and camera one was on the air as it zoomed back wide screen on Syaoran and Sakura who were sweat dropping, almost forgetting that they were now on the air.

Syaoran almost jump out of his seat when he notice that they were back on. The papers that he was holding fell out of his hands and they scattered all over the floor and table.

"Uh, Th—this just in." Syaoran was quickly handed a piece of paper from Sakura and read on.

"The Piffle Princess co. is now selling the most outrageous outfits that was ever made! We're now going live to the Piffle Princess co. in Tokyo to talk to the heads of the most famous design corporation, Tomoyo and Hokuto."

The screen behind Sakura and Syaoran changed its setting to some where in Tokyo in which there was a gigantic building painted in pink. In front of the building stood Tomoyo and Hokuto holding microphones in there hands.

Syaoran was the first to speak as the two girls smiled and waved at the camera with soft giggles.

"So how did your company become so popular and famous in a short matter of time?" He asked.

"Ohohoho!" The two girls laughed simultaneously with twinkles in their eyes. "It's a secret! Ohohoho!"

Both Syaoran and Sakura sweatdropped as they watched the two girls laugh hysterically.

"But!" Hokuto pointed out as she and Tomoyo suddenly stopped laughing. "We'll show you one of our best works from my model!"

Tomoyo sighed as she looked into the camera with tears in her eyes. "And I wanted you to be here, Sakura-chan. So you could wear the designs that I made for you."

Sakura sweatdropped once more.

"Oh, but we still have my brother to play with! Ohohoho!" Hokuto laughed as she and Tomoyo stepped aside to reveal Subaru. The poor boy was clad in tight leather black pants with two silver belts hanging loosely off his waist. He wore a sleeveless black shirt with a long red and gold jacket draping over his shoulders. The jacket reached down to the ground, the edges were cut bit by bit, forming into the shape of wings. He wore large boots that had so many colorful knots on it that it looked impossible to get undone. To finish everything off, he wore a large sparkling red hat with a black ribbon wrapping around it, the rest of the ribbon hanged off the rim of the hat.

There was a long train of uncomfortable and awkward silence as everyone stared at Hokuto's "masterpiece" as she silently started to giggle to herself despite the discomfited quietness that everyone could hear a small needle dropping to the ground. Subaru looked like he was going to die from embarrassment, so he hid his expression by shoving the hat in front of his face that was turning into a tomato.

Then after a long one hundred twenty one seconds of nothing but silence except for Hokuto's infinite giggling that was sure to make everyone go insane, Syaoran finally spoke up:

"Thank you for showing an example of your design, Hokuto-chan. I would also like to see your designs as well, Tomoyo-chan."

And it was Tomoyo's turn to laugh which made everyone in the room (except for Sakura.) to glare at the boy.

"Why thank you, Syaoran-kun!" Tomoyo giggled more loudly than Hokuto. "I'll send you and Sakura-chan over here right after you're done with the news! And you'll see what my Sakura-chan will look like in those adorable clothes that I designed for her! And I made some clothes for you too! Ohohoho!"

Syaoran now thought this was a bad idea. "Uh…thank you Tomoyo-chan and Hokuto-chan, we hope your company continues to be uh…great."

And with that, the screen quickly disappeared. But the girl's terrorizing laughter's echoed deeply into Syaoran's and Sakura's minds.

"Uh…" Sakura closed her eyes, trying to ignore the continuous laughter's. "We'll be right back after this commercial break."

* * *

It's a car commercial, but no ordinary car commercial!

A black Subaru car came zooming through a deserted street in the middle of the night. A few sakura petals flew past it and the full moon that made the car shine brightly. The car continued to whoosh quickly through the deserted and continuous streets that were dimly lit by lamp post along the sidewalks.

The car dramatically turned around, stopping at a curb. Near the curb, there stood an unlighted lamppost with a man clad in black and wearing sunglasses leaning against it.

One of the windows of the car rolled down and showed Subaru with his hands on the wheel, looking over towards Seishrou who was walking over with a smile.

"Get in the car." Subaru muttered, and then paused. "But not in slow motion!"

"Oh, but it makes the commercial cooler!" Seishrou exclaimed as he continued to walk much slower than the average human pace.

Subaru sighed as he watch Seishrou take off his sunglasses and tossing them onto the street. The sunglasses broke in half and Subaru wondered why that was in slow motion also.

"Seishrou-san, get in the car or I will have the sudden urge to kill the person who decided to name a car after myself making all the fangirls who are watching those car commercials think that I'm driving it!" Subaru exclaimed.

"Oh, but you're too kind to kill someone, Subaru-kun." Seishrou said as he finally went into the car, getting into the passenger seat next to Subaru who was of course driving the car.

"And besides, I like how there's a car named after you! It's adorable!" Seishrou squealed happily.

Subaru sighed once more and started to bang his head on the wheel, muttering on how he's going to kill the person who ever made the car in the first place and those who made those weird commercials, especially that one with the sumo wrestlers.

Seishrou patted Subaru on the back. "Oh don't worry, Subaru-kun! I like you better!"

Subaru banged his head some more on the wheel.

* * *

"And we're back!" Sakura exclaimed as soon as they were back on air, she was now feeling confidence in herself. "We're now going to report live in Kyoto, where Kurogane-san is going to tell us about the sporting events that's happening in one of the dojos!"

The screen behind Sakura and Syaoran changed to a dojo. In front of the school stood Kurogane holding a microphone and a katana in his hands. He was frowning disappointedly at the camera. Behind them there were several people fighting each other with their own katanas.

"So how are the students doing?" Sakura asked nicely with an innocent smile.

"They suck." Kurogane muttered bluntly. "And so does the teacher. He's teaching them the wrong moves and I tried to show him but he tried to beat me up with a stick! Now who beats people with sticks!?"

Sakura blinked and turned to Syaoran who was also blinking, not knowing what to say as they both stared at Kurogane who was about to explode.

"Okay so…" Syaoran started to shuffle some papers onto the desk, keeping his gaze on the angry ninja. "The students and their teacher are bad?"

"Heck yeah!" Kurogane responded. He turned to everyone in the dojo and pointed an accusing finger at them.

"Do you _see_ what they're doing?" Kurogane asked. The camera zoomed in to see what the people were doing, they were doing…awkward stuff with their swords that were…weird and unnecessary for innocent eyes to see. For example:

"MY SPLEEN!!" One student cried out as he fell over on the floor, twitching.

Kurogane grunted. "I am going in there and kick their assess!" He exclaimed as he stormed into the dojo.

Sakura and Syaoran sweatdropped as they watch the ninja storm in, getting ready to chop some people in half.

But the scene was unfortunately censored for use of violence, bloody gore, limbs being torn apart, people exploding, a certain ninja swearing every single bad word there is, loss of sanity, and of course death. So the only thing that the people who were viewing this (which is more then ten billion people) were now watching a blank screen with a large smiley face on it despite the unusual sound effects in the background and the cut out swearing. Now everyone were hearing lines of beeps.

Syaoran started to shuffle some more papers on the desk, trying to ignore the sound effects and the constant beeping sounds that replaced the bad words.

"Now we know who's not going to be in the Olympics this year…" Syaoran said.

"And it's coming up in August right, Syaoran-kun?" Sakura asked, trying to get to a different subject so everyone doesn't wonder what's going on in the dojo and they get in trouble for everything that Kurogane was doing to those poor innocent souls.

Syaoran nodded with a smile. "Yes! So don't miss out on it! It only comes once every four years."

Sakura gestured towards Syaoran. "And why is it once every four years, Syaoran-kun?"

Syaoran shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm excited!"

"I'm excited too!"

Then Syaoran sighed as the beeping sounds continued. "This isn't going anywhere, we need to find something else to talk about." He scanned through all of the papers several times as he ignored the beeping and sound effects.

"Okay um…cloning has become banned in every single world because Fei Wong Reed has created clones out of every single person there is…no that's boring." Syaoran threw that paper out of the way and looked at another one.

"There have been recent deaths in Ueno Park lately, the victims have holes in their chest and they smell like sakura petals…" Syaoran blinked and turned to Sakura who shrugged. Syaoran threw that paper out of the way and tried to find something interesting to talk about while Kurogane was busy with killing everyone in the dojo.

Then suddenly there was a loud "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" that threw Sakura and Syaoran out of their seats and toppling onto the ground with paper flying all over the place and landing on their heads.

The screen still had a smiley face on it and it looked like its smile was wider. The teens got back into their seats; Sakura looked back at the camera while Syaoran gathered up all the paper that was on the floor.

"Uh…" Sakura sweatdropped but tried to smile. "Thanks for watching TRC channel 7 news, good night!"

* * *

A/N: Weird no? Now if you didn't know, there are three cameras that broadcast the news not just one. The green screen (or whatever it is.) is the screen that changes to a diffrent setting when it's on the air, but it stays the same green in real life. If you wear the same shade of green as the screen, you would pratically be invisible except for your head and arms (unless you're wearing a long sheelve shirt.)

And there actually is going to be a OVA of the Infinity arc! It's coming in Febuary! Or was it January?

And if you didn't know, Subaru is also the name of a type of car (weird huh?) so whenever I watch those Subaru car comercials, I keep of thinking of Subaru popping out of nowhere or Subaru driving the car. There was this one comercial that I was watching on YouTube, Sumo wrestlers were washing a Subaru car and I was like O.o the whole time. So I just had to have a comercial of Subaru driving the car since we had some commercial breaks when we were doing those fake news at the camp.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I've decided to make this a multi.chapter fanfic, even though this is beyond random...so enjoy chapter 2! Oh and there's also minor spoilers for Acid Tokyo.

* * *

Fai and Kurogane were sitting at the large oak wooden table with sheets of paper in front of them. Now it was their turn to be the anchors.

"Okay, we're going on in five!" Yuko called out from the control room. "Five! Four! Three! Two! And you're on lover boys!"

Kurogane scowled at Yuko while Fai just laughed silently. Dramatic music appeared in the background and after that, the two were now on the air.

"Hello and welcome to TRC channel 7 news!" Fai cheered with a large smile on his face. "I am Fai!" He pointed to himself. "And this is Kuro-chu!" He pointed to Kurogane who yelled:

"IT'S KUROGANE!"

Fai ignored the angry puppy and continued talking as the other began to growl. "Since there's going to be two new Tsubasa OVAs. There's going to be two Holic OVAs as well!"

Yuko was now cheering in the background.

"The official date for the first part of the Holic OVA is January, 16 2009. And the official date for the first part of the Tsubasa OVA is February 2009!" Fai exclaimed, getting a few more cheers from Yuko in the background.

"Now onto you, Kuro-puu!" Fai pointed to Kurogane who glared at him.

"I'm not saying any beep lines you beep! Wait…why am I saying beep…beep?" Kurogane asked, looking really confused for the first time which was very rare.

Fai burst out laughing. "Kuro-silly! You can't say any bad words 'cause you're on live television! So the bad words are cut out by beeps!"

"WHAT THE BEEP!?" Kurogane exclaimed.

Fai randomly fell out of his chair, getting into fits of laughter.

"DON'T BEEP WITH ME YOU BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!" Kurogane beeped some more, but that was only making Fai rolling on the floor, clutching onto his stomach, laughing his ass off.

"STOP BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! I'LL BEEP YOU IF YOU DON'T BEEP UP!!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Fai laughed, tears flying out of his eyes rapidly as he continued to roll on the floor.

"SHUT THE BEEP UP!!" Kurogane yelled.

Fai finally stopped laughing as he sat back in his chair, but small giggles escaped his lips quietly, making Kurogane want to strangle him.

"Okay, okay…" Fai breathed in and out, whipping some tears out of his eyes. "Here's Sakura-chan with the weather. And by the way, Kuro-puppy, you're smexy when you're angry!""

"WHAT THE BEEP!?"

Fai fell out of his chair (his chair following down with him) and continued to laugh his ass off.

While Fai was dieing of laughter and Kurogane was yelling, Sakura was on the air as camera three zoomed in on her as she smiled timidly at the camera. She pulled out her wand that she used in CCS and pointed it at Japan.

"Um…this is Japan." Sakura said as she circled the small country with her wand. "It's partly cloudy but there's a small chance of rain, but there's sure to be some rain shower this weekend…I think…" She looked around hastily, feeling nervous already. She then pointed the wand at one portion of Japan and continued to talk quietly.

"And uh…this part is Tokyo…I think…and over here is…somewhere else…and above that is…uh…how do you pronounce the names?" She looked around for help but Fai was busy dying in fits of laughter while Kurogane was yelling at the dieing magician to shut up, but all there was, was loud beeps.

Sakura turned to Mokona who was giving her a paw up (since it doesn't have thumbs…) Sakura smiled nervously and turned back to the camera, waving a bit before pointing at Japan once more.

"Okay so…Japan is surrounded by water and there's one hurricane coming our way to the west…and it's called hurricane Kuro."

"AHAHAHAHAHA!" Fai fell over immediately after he stood up, but he toppled over once more. "KURO-WOOFY'S DANGEROUS!"

"SHUT THE BEEP UP!" Kurogane exclaimed once more.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! AHAHAHAHA!!" Fai laughed some more, rolling around on the floor.

"YOU'RE THE BEEP ONE WHO'S GOING TO BEEP DIE YOU BEEP!" Kurogane retorted as he pulled out his sword.

Sakura sweatdropped as she tried to smile at the camera. "We'll be right back after this commercial break..."

* * *

Yuko's shop came into view as its doors mysteriously opened. The camera zoomed in inside of the shop as Maru and Moro appeared with smiles.

"The mistress has been waiting! The mistress has been waiting!" They sang as they skipped over to a room, they slid the doors opened and there appeared Yuko lounged on a couch. She was blowing into a pipe and smoke flew out, circling around the rooms and disappearing.

"Do you have a wish?" She asked as she gazed at the camera with a smile. "I can grant it." She stood up and walked towards the camera formally.

"I can grant you anything that your heart desires. If you want your wish to come true, call 1-111-111-HITSUZEN. 'Cause it's not coincidence, it's fate." She sat back at the couch, crossing her legs and keeping her mischievous smile on her face.

"But there's always a price…" She purred as she lay on the couch, stretching her arms and legs like a cat. She blew into the pipe and more spoke came out as she spoke, eyeing the camera with a glint in her eyes.

"So be ready to make that sacrifice."

Then the smoke surrounded her, went into her mouth and she started to cough out loudly.

"Ah! Watanuki! Give me my sake!"

"You mean water!" Watanuki corrected from the kitchen.

"No! My sake! Give me my precious sake! My precious!"

"Fine!"

Watanuki grabbed a bottle of sake and quickly ran to Yuko who was now on the floor twitching. She snatched the bottle from the teens grasps and drunk all of it in two huge gulps. She tossed the bottle onto the ground and smiled lazily.

"Okay! I'm good! But Watanuki, you clean that mess up!"

"WHAT!?"

* * *

"And we're back!" Fai cheered out happily. He and Kurogane managed to calm down during the commercial break so they're okay now!

Fai shuffled some papers and turned to Kurogane who was sitting next to him looking bored, looking really bored.

"Kuro-daddy, you're turn!"

"No." Kurogane muttered.

"But Kuro-sama!"

"No!"

Fai frowned and stuck his tongue at the mean puppy. "Fine then!"

He looked at the camera and his frown turned back to a goofy smile. "Okay! So, the vampire twins Subaru-kun and Kamui-kun are still on the run from the vampire hunter, Seishrou-san. No one knows where they are since some times they pop out of now where, disappear, pop out of nowhere, and disappear again. So technically…they're just running…And we don't really know why they're running. We just know that Kamui-kun hates Seishrou-san's guts and wants to kick his butt. Hey that rhymes!"

Kurogane rolled his eyes.

"But Subaru-kun seems to like Seishrou-san since he's always looking sad but he's not angsting."

"There's a difference?" Kurogane asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course!" Fai exclaimed, slamming the sheets of paper that he had in his hands onto the surface of the table.

"We don't know what's going on with Subaru-kun and Seishrou-san but we do know that without Seishrou-san, Subaru-kun is not happy! But Kamui-kun hates Seishrou-san while Subaru-kun likes Seishrou-san and Seishrou-san's brother; Fuma-san likes Kamui-kun while Kamui-kun also wants to kick his butt and Kamui-kun only cares about Subaru-kun while Subaru-kun cares about Seishrou-san more since they have been one of the largest yaoi couples in CLAMP history and they still are while others disagree and they say that Kamui-kun and Subaru-kun should be with each other even though they're twins but they're slightly cannon since Kamui-kun is a little overly protected when it comes down with Subaru-kun so maybe he hates Seishrou -san 'cause he likes Subaru-kun but Kamui-kun doesn't want Seishrou-san to do anything with his brother because he hates his guts!"

Kurogane blinked as he tried to understand since the mage was saying this really fast in at least a few seconds.

"Or maybe the hunter just wants to kill them since he's a _vampire_ hunter." Kurogane exclaimed.

"Hmmm…" Fai pondered on that but shook his head. "No, then why would Subaru-kun act all sad and stuff?"

"I don't know." Kurogane shrugged.

"Hmmm...let's think about it…" Fai pulled out a pen and started to draw a character map. He drew several large circles with the names: Subaru-kun, Kamui-kun, Seishrou-san and Fuma-san in each one of them.

"Okay so…we have the vampire twins…" He drew a line in between Subaru's and Kamui's circle and wrote down twins on the line. Then he drew a line from Subaru's circle and over towards Seishrou's circle.

"Now there relationship…hmmm…" Fai tapped the tip of the pen on his chin before writing something on the line.

"We'll say a twisted Romeo and Juliet relationship." Fai exclaimed after he wrote that down, he heard Kurogane groan. The mage drew a line from Seishrou's circle and over to Fuma's circle.

"Now these two are brothers, right?"

Kurogane shrugged.

"Interesting." Fai wrote brothers on that line and drew another line in between Fuma's and Kamui's circle.

"Hmmm…this ones a toughie. I would say weird-relationship-but-not-as-weird-as-Subaru-kun-and-Seishrou-san-or-maybe-as-weird-but-we-don't-know-if-they-have-the-same-relationship-as-they-did-in-X."

Fai wrote that done too but stopped when he turned to Kurogane who was still looking bored.

"Have you read X, Kuro-chan?"

"No."

"Well you're boring." Fai said as he turned back to the character map. "Then I'll work on this myself then!"

Kurogane didn't say anything but rolled his eyes and sighed in annoyance.

A few minutes later, Fai was done, for Kamui he had: short-tempered, overly protected of Subaru-kun, hates Fuma-san, hates Seishrou-san, cares about Subaru-kun a little too much, hates everyone else, looks like a cat, is a little mean, and is a pure-blood vampire. Next to the circle, Fai drew a quick sketch of a chibi Kamui with large cat ears.

For Subaru he had: Quiet, shy, always looking sad but is not close to angsting, has a weird relationship with Seishrou-san that is yet to be revealed but it could be the same relationship in X but that could be a problem, cares about Kamui-kun, got ticked off when Fuma-san had Kamui-kun captive in his arms so Subaru-kun is also protective and doesn't really like Fuma-san, nice, somewhat the opposite of Kamui-kun, and is also a pure-blood vampire. Next to the circle, Fai drew a quick sketch of a chibi Subaru with large dog ears.

For Seishrou: always smiling creepily, likes being under sakura trees, likes Subaru-kun, Kamui-kun hates him, is friendly at first and seems a little _too_ friendly, is blind on one eye ( coincidence? I think not!), is a vampire hunter, chasing after the vampire twins, and almost killed poor little Fai-mommy…Next to the circle, Fai drew a quick sketch of a chibi Seishrou with large dog ears.

For Fuma: Nice, likes Kamui-kun,not much of a good relationship with Subaru-kun since Subaru-kun almost kicked his butt and that would've been interesting to see, is a treasure hunter, Yuko's delivery boy, smiles a lot also but not as much as Seishrou-san, likes to play with Kamui-kun with his rope…thingy and is too kind looking to be evil but we can't be too sure of that. Next to the circle Fai drew a quick sketch of a chibi Fuma with large cat ears.

"There, I'm done!" Fai exclaimed as he dropped the pen onto the desk. "But I still haven't solved anything!"

Kurogane just rolled his eyes.

"Now let's go to Syaoran-kun with the sports!"

Fai twirled his head around to look at the screen behind him. The screen changed to some where in Japan, Syaoran is shown standing in front of a river with a microphone in hand.

"Uh…hi…" He waved a little, sweatdropping a bit.

"Hi, Syaoran-kun!" Fai cheered, waving back. "So what's going on up there?"

Syaoran looked around and back at the camera. "Nothing really…I thought the swimmers were going to be here to do their race but they're not…they were supposed to be here an hour ago. So here I am…in the cold…and I think it's going to rain now."

_Man, Sakura-chan's good. _Fai thought while he kept his smile on his face. "Don't worry, Syaoran-kun, I'm sure the swimmers will come soon!"

"Are you sure?" Syaoran asked, looking up at the sky that was becoming cloudy and a few rain drops were now falling on him.

Fai nodded. "Positive!"

More rain started to fall on the worried boy.

"O—okay…" Syaoran stuttered as more and more raindrops started to fall on him. He looked around hastily, getting even more worried.

"Does anyone have an umbrella?"

And the rain started to downpour, now Syoaran was completely drenched and dipped his head downward, hiding his expression that was behind his bangs.

"Someone should do something to help the kid." Kurogane exclaimed, keeping a blank look as he stared at the downcast kid.

"Aw!" Fai patted Kurogane's head. "You care about our son!"

Kurogane turned to him, looking stunned "WHAT THE BEEP!? SON!?"

Fai just smiled and turned back to Syaoran. "Don't worry, Syaoran-kun, Kuro-daddy will come get you after we're done."

Kurogane sighed and then got out of his seat "I'll go get him now."

Fai stood up and clapped with approval. "You go, Kuro-daddy!"

"SHUT THE BEEP WITH THAT!" And Kurogane quickly stormed out of the studio while Fai was laughing.

He sat back down on his seat and beamed back at the camera. "While Kuro-daddy's getting our little boy, I'll discuss about the Mr. CLAMP Universe Beauty Pageant that was won by Kamui-kun, no not the vampire Kamui-kun who is now envying the other Kamui-kun but the Kamui-kun from X. But the vampire Kamui-kun is finding ways to kill the other Kamui-kun, but he'll do that after he kills Seishrou-san."

"The Mr. CLAMP Universe Beauty Pageant is a pageant that all the feminine boys from all over the CLAMP universe come and do these talents in order to win the title of Mr. CLAMP Universe, win 100,000 dollars and they don't get tortured by CLAMP for a few years. Which is now rumored to be the reason why CLAMP has put X into hiatus. But since Kamui-kun has won, he wants to take a break but he and Fuma-san are having a big fight right now 'casue Fuma-san wants X to be finish already."

Fai turned to another page and continued on. "The pageant was very nice; all the boys were wearing bathing suits, beautiful gowns and doing these amazing talents like dancing and singing! I was in it too and I won the award of best smiles! Syaoran-kun was also in it, he was wearing a puffy pink dress made by Tomoyo-chan and it was so cute! Tomoyo-chan, Hokuto-chan and Yuko-san were the judges and they did an awesome job! I would love to show you a tape of the pageant, but unfortunately it automatically got destroyed by Hokuto-chan when Subaru-kun accidentally tripped while walking across the stage. Hokuto-chan quickly snatched the only tape and destroyed it with her bare hands so no one would see Subaru tripping over and over again and or being shown on YouTube."

Fai shuffled some more papers and turned back to the screen to see an upset Syaoran. It was now thunder storming.

"Don't worry, Syaoran-kun! Kuro-daddy's going to come soon! He'll take you home and will make you some chicken noodle soup!"

"Who said I was going to do that?"

Syaoran and Fai turned and saw Kurogane coming into view holding an umbrella. He gave Syaoran the umbrella and the boy quickly thanked him.

Kurogane ignored the boy and turned his evil gaze towards the camera man and the other crew members who didn't bother to do anything. He slowly walked over to them, rolled up his sleeves and pulled out his sword from out of nowhere. "Now wait there while I teach some people some lessons."

Then the screen got censured (again) for use of violence, bloody gore, limbs being torn apart, people exploding, a certain ninja swearing every single bad word there is, loss of sanity, and of course death. So the only thing that the people who were viewing this (which is more then ten billion people) were now watching a blank screen with a large smiley face on it despite the unusual sound effects in the background and the cut out swearing. Now everyone was hearing lines of beeps.

Fai smiled nervously as a sweat drop formed. He turned back to the camera and waved happily despite the constant beeps in the background.

"Thanks for watching TRC channel seven news, good night!"

* * *

A/N: This chapter was weirder than the first one...sorry if the comercial wasn't as good as the last one, I didn't have much in mind. And sorry if the stuff of the vamp twins took a little too long...Fai also knows what happens in Acid Tokyo and in X since he already read both mangas before anyone else! And the beauty pageant...I might make a fanfic of that but I'm already writting other fics right now so if anyone would like to write a fic about the pageant I give you permission, or I could write it if you want...but I'll be busy with my other fics and other things...oh and if you have any suggestions for things that the charecters should talk about, be my guest, 'cause I don't have much in mind and there's nothing much going on with Tsubasa and Holic except for the OVAs. So suggestions are welcome, and if you want me to wrte the pageant fic or you want too then you can ask 'casue that sounds like a fun fic to write about.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Nothing much to say but there are spoilers up to the latest Tsubasa chapter.

* * *

White Mokona and Black Mokona were perched on top of the oak wooden table. Now it was their turn to be the anchors.

"We're going in five!" Yuko exclaimed from the control room. "Five! Four! Three! Two! And you're on Mokos!"

Dramatic music appeared in the background and soon the two bunny like creatures were on the air.

"Hi!" White Mokona cheered, waving a paw in the air in a cute greeting manner. "Welcome to TRC channel seven news! Mokona is Mokona!"

"And Mokona is Mokona too!" Black Mokona greeted also.

"Yeah!" White Mokona bounced up and down happily. " And Mokona have good news! And do you know what the good news is?"

Black Mokona starts to giggle and so does the other Mokona.

"Do you want Mokona to tell you?" White Mokona asked.

"You really want to know?" Black Mokona asked.

"Really?

"Really?"

"Well…" Both Mokonas turned to each other and back to the camera as they said simultaneously: "It's a secret!"

The two creatures went into fits of laughter and accidentally fell off of the desk. Everyone in the studio raised their eyebrows. The Mokonas continued to laugh and laugh till it looked like they're going to die of laughter. So Yuko called the ambulance and they were sent away to either the hospital or the looney bin.

Yuko walked over to the desk and smiled nervously at the camera. "Sorry for the interruption, hope you weren't disturbed. Now the new anchors are going to be Fai and Kurogane for today!"

"Yay!" Fai cheered from who knows where and quickly ran to the desk while dragging Kurogane along. Fai shook Yuko's hands rapidly before sitting down at the desk and dragging an angry puppy to sit down also.

Yuko walked back to the control room without another word…

"Hi everyone!" Fai waved happily to the camera with a gigantic grin on his face. "Did you miss us? 'Cause Kuro-puppy missed you all!"

"WHAT THE BEEP!?" Kurogane retorted. "I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THESE BEEP PEOPLE!"

Fai gasped dramatically. "How could you, Kuro-daddy! I thought you had a soul!"

"What soul?" Kurogane asked.

Fai gasped again and turned back to the camera. "Ignore him everyone! Do not listen to the puppy, he didn't have his coffee today and is not a morning person!"

"It's the evening!" Kurogane exclaimed.

"Whatever!" Fai said, not bothering to look back at Kurogane. "Anyways, let's get back to the news! Okay, so um….the latest chapters of Tsubasa has now driven everyone nuts!" Fai randomly threw some sheets of paper in the air and almost toppled out of his seat.

Kurogane raised his eyebrow. "How so?"

"Well let's see…" Fai took one of the sheets of paper and flipped them to the back to write some notes down. "We discovered that our children our clones! "

"What?"

"The real ones have been stuck in tubes for who knows how long and the real Syaoran managed to get out and is now pretty pissed."

"Excuse me?"

"And now we're having these long flashbacks of the real Sakura and Syaoran but their names aren't Sakura and Syaoran and Sakura's father was supposed to be Syaoran's father but he's the king of Clow but Clow was supposed to be the king of Clow so we're guessing it's another Clow Country but we don't know and we're really confused and CLAMP is twisting our minds up and making our brains turn into mush! So what do you have to say about this, Kuro-chu?" Fai turned to Kurogane with a happy smile.

"I don't know what the beep you're talking about." Kurogane answered bluntly.

"Ah." Fai nodded. "So to put it simply…CLAMP is twisted!" He clasped his hands together and wrote several things down. "Now let's all write a letter to CLAMP and tell them how wonderful they are to us! Especially to me!"

Kurogane stared at the mage in awkward silence for a few minutes till he said in a bored manner: "But you hate their guts."

"I know!" Fai crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it to the ground, stomping on it. "They are so mean to me! Do you know what they did to me?"

"No." Kurogane shrugged.

"They turned me angsty! I was once a happy go lucky honey bee but it was all fun and games till I lost an eye even though it's a tradition in CLAMP for one or two characters to get their eyes gouged out or get blind, I stabbed our daughter, almost killed you, and I have nightmares of Mokona eating my skin clean off! I'M ANGSTY YOU HEAR!! ANGSTY!"

Fai started to shake Kurogane back in forth till the poor ninja was getting really dizzy.

"Wait." Some one called out, Fai stopped shaking a dazed Kurogane and turned to the person speaking. It was none other than X Subaru.

"You're wrong, I'm the angstiest character!" Subaru exclaimed, pointing to himself.

"No, I am!" X Kamui suddenly appeared beside X Subaru.

"No, me!" Fai stood up from his seat and walked over to the two.

"Me!" Subaru exclaimed.

"Me!" Kamui retorted, jumping up and down.

"ME!!" They all exclaimed loudly and were soon tackling each other.

Kurogane sighed. "We'll be back after the commercial break…BEFORE ANYONE GETS BEEP FIRED YOU BEEPS!!"

* * *

Fuma was walking through the streets of Tokyo as buildings were falling down and earthquakes were erupting.

"The earth is coming to an end." Fuma said plainly with no emotion in his voice once so ever. "We're all going to die, unless _someone _chooses to either destroy the earth or save it! Kamui…" Fuma looks over his shoulder to see Kamui skipping around happily with sakura petals circling around him.

"It's official! I'm a Sailor Scout!" Kamui declared as he spin around, waving his arms up in the air. Now feathers were appearing to join in.

Fuma scowled at the dancing feminine school boy. "Oi, Kamui!"

"Yeah?" Kamui swirled his head over towards Fuma as he beamed at him joyously despite all the buildings being destroyed in the background.

"What are you doing?" Fuma asked.

"I'm dancing!" Kamui exclaimed as more sakura petals and feathers swirled around him.

"Why?"

"'Cause I hate this meanie show!" Kamui said, stomping his feet to the ground. "It's too bloody and gory and everyone's dieing! And didn't I win the Mr. CLAMP Universe Pageant? Yeah, I did! But I'm not having any breaks! And now the world's ending, CLAMP hasn't even finished our manga and not even our little story in TRC, and I am always treated like a sissy! A SISSY ANGSTY LITTLE BOY WHO IS AS ANGSTY AS SUBARU!"

"Well—"

"And you know what else, Fuma?" Kamui asked as he pulled out the script for X. He tore it apart and stomped on it. "I quit this twisted show! Find someone else to molest!"

And he stormed off.

Fuma watched as Kamui stormed off into the distance, he blinked and looked at the camera. "If any one wants to be the one to either destroy or save the earth please call 1-999-999-FATE. If you don't, I'll be happy to choose the earth's fate for you."

* * *

"See!" Kamui exclaimed as he pointed at the screen where they were showing the commercial. "I am angsty! ANGSTY!"

"No, I'M ANGSTIER!" Subaru protested.

"No, you're both wrong, I'M ANGSTEST!" Fai exclaimed.

Kurogane glared over at the three who were all arguing near by. "WILL YOU ALL SHUT THE BEEP UP!?"

The three stopped arguing and looked at the angry puppy.

"Now look…" Kurogane sighed, and then pointed to the following. "You—"points to Subaru. "Get a beeping life! You—"points to Kamui "Stop being all whinny and get a beeping life also! And you—"finally points to Fai. "You're just plain beep! So if I were all of you beeps, I would beep the beep up and stop being all BEEP!"

The three angsty characters blinked, turned to one another and back at Kurogane. "We have no idea what you just said."

Kurogane grunted and faced palm. "Never mind…"

Fai smiled. "Good! Now let's go to Sakura-chan with the news!"

Camera three came on and zoomed in on Sakura who suddenly jumped in the air since she almsot fell asleep sine she was dieing of boredom. Sakura pulled out her wand and pointed it at Japan.

"Uh…well, we have Japan…and it's going to be raining a lot over here…" She pointed the wand over to a lower part of Japan. "And uh…hurricane Kuro is coming over towards the west coast…wait, I think that's the west."

"That's the east!" Fai called out.

"Oh…" Sakura sweatdropped. "Well…uh…the hurricane's coming up and there might be an earthquake so…we should stay indoors till the hurricane and earthquake stop…and uh…over here—" Sakura pointed to some where at the top of Japan. "Is going to be sunny! So it's a good place to go over there than in Tokyo where there's going to be some destruction. Um…back to you Fai-san and Kurogane-san! Oh and Fai-san, what do you mean that I'm a clone?"

"Uh…" Fai sweatdropped. "Now let's go to Syaoran-kun with the sports!"

The screen behind Fai and Kurogane changed to Syaoran standing in front of a track with a microphone in hand.

"Syaoran-kun!" Fai waved. "How're you?"

"Fine, Fai-san…" Syaoran answered softly. "But uh…the racers are already running and uh…I notice when I was watching…one of Sakura-hime's feathers fwas lying by…"

Fai notice that Syaoran's eye was twitching. "Uh-huh…"

"Once I saw it…I started to act funny…" Syaoran said, his eye was twitching some more. "Like…twitching…"

"Ah…" Fai nodded slowly, still smiling.

"A—and you know what else? "Syaoran asked, his eye was twitching even more. "I…I lost sight of the feather…"

"Oh…"

"Sakura-hime's feather…" More twitching.

"Uh-huh…"

"Her precious feather…" Even more twitching.

"Okay." Fai nodded some more, still keeping that smile.

"Her…precious…FEATHER!" Syaoran cried out, his mouth now foaming and was now twitching like crazy.

Fai and Kurogane stared with awe. Then Kurogane got out of his seat. "I'll go get him again."

"Yay! Go, Kuro-daddy!" Fai cheered, clapping his together. Kurogane just grunted and left the studio.

Fai looked back at the screen and saw Syaoran running around in circles looking for the feather. He was swinging his sword (which popped out of nowhere) viciously all over the place and was scaring off all of the runners who were passing by.

Everyone in the studio and those who were watching this back home (which was more then ten billion people.) were now scared.

Then a magic circle appeared in front of Syaoran and there appeared Real Syaoran with his pointy sword and looking entirely pissed since he's been stuck in a tube for seven years! Yay!

R! Syaoran sighed. "You know, my dad was much, much cooler than us. WHY DID CLAMP HAVE TO MAKE US SO BORING!?"

C! Syaoran shrugged. "I don't know, I only want to protect Sakura-hime and get the feathers.

"SEE WHAT I MEAN!?" The other Syaoran exclaimed.

"What?" C! Syaoran asked.

"NEVER MIND! LET'S JUST FIGHT!"

"Hold on."

The two Syaoran's turned and saw Kurogane walking up to them with his sword. Fai was giggling nervously, knowing what was going to happen next.

"The puppy's angry!"

"Shut up." Kurogane muttered to Fai, then turned back to the Syaoran's. "Now, you—"points to C Syaoran. "I'm going to have a nice talk with you, and you—"turn over to the camera crew.

"I'll start with you guys first."

And the screen quickly got censured (once again) for use of violence, bloody gore, limbs being torn apart, people exploding, a certain ninja swearing every single bad word there is, loss of sanity, and of course death. So the only thing that the people who were viewing this (which is more then ten billion people) were now watching a blank screen with a large smiley face on it despite the unusual sound effects in the background, a certain clone screaming out about feathers and the cut out swearing. Now everyone was hearing lines of beeps.

Fai sweatdropped and turned to the camera. "Uh…thanks for watching TRC channel 7 news! Good night." He then turned to Subaru and Kamui who were still arguing about the angst. "And I am angstier!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!"

* * *

A/N: ...This was so weird, I know...I barley had any ideas for news stories, gomen, the comercial was weird, gomen and everything else was just plain...yeah, weird. Oh, and the angstiest charecters out of all of CLAMPs charecters would be (in order for me) Subaru, Kamui and Fai and they need hugs! Oh, and they're might be one or two more chapters for this weird fic since my brain has been feeling mushy for the past few days (maybe becuase school's coming soon...)


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Okay, this is the last chapter of this weird fanfic! Enjoy!

* * *

Sakura and C! Syaoran (who was in a straight jacket) were sitting behind the desk. R! Syaoran was keeping an eye on his clone to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. He had his sword with him just in case.

"We're going on in five!" Yuko called out from the control room. "Five! Four! Three! Two! And you're on clonies!"

Dramatic music appeared in the background and soon Sakura and C! Syaoran were on the air.

"Hello and welcome to TRC channel 7 news!" Sakura greeted with a swift bow. "I am Sakura."

"Feathers…" Syaoran muttered as he glared at the camera with a twitching eye.

"No, it's Syoaran-kun." Sakura corrected with a worried look. She didn't like how Syaoran was acting and was nervous that she'll act the same since she's a clone.

"Feathers…" Syaoran muttered once more.

R! Syaoran rolled his eyes as his gaze motioned towards Sakura. "Do you want me to take care of him?" Pulls out deadly and pointy sword.

"Uh…" Sakura sweatdropped. "I think we're good…Anyways!" She smiled at camera like nothing strange was going on with her boyfriend and that the real one wasn't going to plunder him to a pulp soon.

"We have an exclusive sneak peak of the Infinity OVA!" Sakura exclaimed as all eyes turned to the screen.

The screen turn pitch black, an echoing voice pitched in ominously:

"Long ago, the journey began…"

The screen flashed a bright white color, Syaoran and Sakura are shown falling to the ground as Sakura's feathers disappeared.

The screen went back to black as the voice came back on "But, when we finally thought we knew all of the secrets underground, everything changed."

Words slowly started to fade in as a new voice emerged. "You do know that that this boy is nothing but an imitation of a human!" Kamui's voice was echoed out loudly.

All the words faded out except for imitation. The word zoomed in, turning into a deep red color before fading.

"If Fai is given the blood of a vampire, he would not die." Yuko's voice now came in as the screen showed Fai's eye changing from blue to gold. The words 'blood of a vampire' quickly swept in after the scene, also turning to red and disappearing.

"So now, go!" A flash of golden light, gust of wind blows in and the figures of Sakura, Syaoran, Kurogane, Fai and Mokona disappeared with the wind. Music by Yui Makino appears in the background.

"I wasn't asking if he could, I was asking if you could." Kurogane is shown for a split second with the words 'You could' fading in after he disappears.

"Fine. If you're not going to drink, I'll just let it flow freely." Kurogane appears again but Fai then walks up to him to drink his blood. But the scene was cut off to another.

"He looks the same…" The words appear in red and so does the Real Syaoran afterwards. The words fade out with: "He fights the same…" R! Syaoran is shown kicking some butt.

"He even _sounds_ the same! So why isn't it the Syaoran-kun I see now?" Sakura is shown with the words slowly disappearing except for the word 'why.'

The music stops. "When I leave, I want to go to a certain world." Sakura's voice appears softly over the black screen.

"Your price. 'Beloved daughter of the Gods.' Your price is your good luck." Yuko speaks when the music comes up again, but more loudly.

The song continues to play louder and louder as blood is splattered across everyone's shocked faces.

There's a flash and the song hits its point. The title Tsubasa: Infinity flies into the screen in dark colors of blue and gold.

"SAKURA!" Syaoran's voice was heard as the song stopped and the title faded away. The screen went back to black.

Sakura turned back to the camera and smiled. "And it's coming in February. You don't want to miss it, right Syaoran-kun?" She turned to the Clone Syaoran with a smile.

"Feathers…" C! Syaoran's eye twitched.

"Anyways…" Sakura tried to ignore her lover's continuous murmuring of feathers that was started to tick her off just a little bit.

"Like we said before, if the OVA becomes very popular and is sold very well, other OVAs might be made."

"Feathers."

R! Syoaran glared at his clone. "Shut. Up."

"Feathers…" C! Syaoran repeated.

"Don't make me hurt you." R! Syaoran warned.

"Feeaatthheerrss…"

"That's it!"

Sakura looked at the two Syaorans hastily. "No—now lets see some clips of the 19th CLAMP awards that was held a while ago! Lets start the clips before there's any fighting here!"

Behind them the screen turned to a setting of a large theater where fangirls, CLAMP characters, and the great creators themselves were sitting in red comfy seats. Yuko was on the stage giving awards to people.

"And the winner for the angstest character is…Subaru!" Yuko called out, followed by everyone clapping and cheering.

Subaru got up from his seat in the front row and walked up the stage to get his award which was a large trophy in the shape of Mokona.

Subaru was about to walk away till—

"Subaru! Do a speech!" Hokuto called out.

"Speech! Speech! Speech!" Everyone else joined in.

Subaru sighed, he had no choice. "You know, I do the same speech every single godforsaken year! Why do you want me to repeat myself?"

"'Cause you're awesome!" A fan girl from the far back row yelled out.

"Yeah!" Other fan girls joined in. "You are the king of angst!"

"All hail the king of angst!" Another fangirl cheered.

"King of angst!"

"Long live the angst!"

Subaru faced palm. "If I do a speech, will you all stop with the whole 'king of angst' thing?"

The fangirls nodded, but of course they were lying.

"Fine…" Subaru muttered, pulling out a small index card and started to read it in a bored manner. "Thank you very much for this award. I never knew I would get this far. I blame CLAMP."

He then tore the paper to shreds, tossed it off of the stage and walked back to his seat as everyone clapped loudly.

Another clip showed Yuko calling out the winner of the best yaoi couple.

"And the best yaoi couple is…Fai and Kurogane!"

"YEAH!!" All the fangirls cheered and clapped in a standing ovation.

Fai squeals, Kurogane moans and pretends that he's' dreaming, but he's being dragged up to the stage by the happy go lucky mage.

Fai takes the award and gives it to Kurogane. "Here you go Kuro-puppy!"

Kurogane frowns. "I don't want that."

"Sure you do!" Fai shoves the award into the ninja's hands and turned to the audience. The fan girls were now fainting.

"Thank you all very much! Kuro-wan and I are really, really, really, really, really, happy! Thank you all so much!"

Fai then turns to Kurogane who feels like throwing up right now. "Kuro-love, do you want to say anything?"

Kurogane nodded. "Yes, I do." He glares up at CLAMP who were seated at the highest balcony. They were all smiling down at him evilly.

"You four are the most twisted minded, weirdest, strangest, people ever!" Kurogane exclaimed, then he stormed back to his seat with everyone (including the fan girls) clapping.

Fai waved at everyone and walked back to his seat. He turned to Kurogane and smiled. "So where are you going to keep the award?"

"I'm going to burn it." Kurogane answered bluntly.

"Ah, that's nice."

Another clip showed the CLAMP characters trying to attack their creators 'cause they screwed up their lives! But CLAMP disappeared before their creations tried to get them. The characters were all disappointed for the 19th time.

Sakura then turned back to the camera once that was over. "The CLAMP award was held on April 1st to celebrate CLAMP's 19th anniversary. It was great but not all of the awards were given out because of some disruptions, protests and violence. Please welcome the host of the 19th CLAMP awards, Yuko."

And right on queue, Yuko walked out of the control room wearing a white sparkling and revealing dress (how she got dress that quick, no one knows.) she pulled out several Mokona trophies from who knows where and settles them down on the table as she pulls out some index cards.

Yuko was about to read but then closed her mouth and frowned. "Wait, this isn't right."

"What's not right?" R! Syaoran asked as he pulled out some duct tape for his clone since he was muttering about feathers and it was really starting to tick him off.

"I can't give out awards here!" Yuko complained, stomping her feet on the floor angrily with frustration.

The Syaorans and Sakura sweatdropped. "Then where do you want to go, Yuko-san?"

An evil smile slowly curved up upon Yuko's lips.

* * *

"Of all of the places…" R! Syaoran breathed out slowly, closing his eyes and clutching onto the handle of his sword tightly. He was sitting on a cheap chair with C! Syaoran, Sakura, Fai, Kurogane, Mokona and other CLAMP characters in front of…

"Why did it have to be in front of a tree that sucks blood?"

The blood sucking tree with dead bodies under it that stood greatly in the center of Ueno Park!

"Because it's fun!" Yuko answered with glee as she stood behind a tall stand with some trophies on them.

"Oh, and Tree-san's hungry!" She also added with a broad smile.

Everyone else scooted their chairs back far away.

Yuko frowned and turned to the camera that was controlled by White Mokona. "We're here in Ueno Park to give away the awards that couldn't be given too because of various unpleasant things last time! The first award," Yuko pulled out an index card and looked at it.

"This award goes to 'The Most Dramatic Poking Eye Out or Getting Blinded Scene! Yay!"

Everyone else just clapped slowly as they looked around, wondering who out of all the characters that got their eyes gouged out or blinded got the award.

"The top three nominees are X Seishrou, X Subaru and Fai!" Yuko exclaimed as more claps were followed and a cheer from Fai.

"And the winner is Fai!"

"Yay!" Fai cheered and hurried up to get his award. He took it and whipped a tear from his eye. "Thank you so much! I never knew Syaoran-kun's eating my eye out would be so dramatic!"

"And also disturbing!" Yuko added. "Would you all want to see a clip of it."

"No!"

"Okay, we'll watch the clip!"

A large screen appeared behind Yuko and showed the scene where C! Syaoran gouges out Fai's eye.

Fai picks up the little ball that C! Syaoran drops. "Uh, Syaoran-kun, you dropped this. It came out of your eye and—ow!" Fai gets thrown back onto the ground by C! Syaoran's kick.

"That's for having more fangirls than me!" C! Syaoran exclaimed as he walked over to Fai and grabbed his neck.

"And this…" Moves his fingers over to Fai's eye. "IS FOR BEING SO DAME SMEXY!" Pokes eye out.

Next clip is Kurogane and everyone else seeing C! Syaoran and Fai.

"Om nom, nom, nom!" C! Syaoran exclaimed as he crunched on Fai's eye as everyone watched in disgust.

"Squishy!"

And that was the end of the clip. All eyes were now on C! Syoaran who was now looking confuse since he was being stared at.

"What?" He asked as he looked around bewildered. "It was good!"

"You're sick!" R! Syaoran cried out. "You're a disgrace to me!"

"Well you know what, tube boy?" C! Syaoran glared at the original. "The series was fine till you showed up!"

R! Syaoran gasped. "No it wasn't! When we discovered you were a clone, everyone's brains turned into mush!"

"No, it turned into goo!"

"Mush!"

"Goo!"

"Mush!"

"Goo!"

"SHUT UP!" Yuko yelled, making the two Syaoran's shudder. "I want to give out the next award. So if you two don't shut up right now, Seishrou will feed you to the tree and you'll turn into daises!"

Seishrou smiled widely and turned to the Syaorans who screeched like mice. "We're sorry! We're sorry!"

"Good!" Yuko said as she brought up another award. "'Cause the next award is for the best boy character of all CLAMPdom!"

Yuko looked into the index card and back to everyone. "The nominees are all of the boys! But only one is worthy to take the trophy! Who will it be…?" She turned to the camera, making her eye twitch.

"We'll find out after this commercial break!"

All of the boy's mouth dropped. "What!?"

* * *

Sakura, C! Syaoran and R! Syaoran are dragging their feet across the sidewalk. Their backs were arched and they moaned in so much disappointment and agony that it made the sky turn dark.

Then Fai came up to them with a broad smile. "What's wrong, children?"

R! Syaoran picked his head up to see Fai, a tear trailed down his cheek and he sniffed. "School starts soon…"

"Oh," Fai patted Syaoran's head gently. "Yes it's true that it starts soon, but do you know what will make you feel better?"

"What?" All three teens asked simultaneously.

"You really want to know?" Fai asked, leaning close to the kids.

"Yes." They nodded.

"You really, really want to know?"

"Yes!"

"Really?"

"YES!"

Fai opened his mouth, then closed it, then finally said. "I don't know! So be prepared for hell, kids!" Fai laughed and walked away, leaving three teens in dismay. It soon started to rain.

Sakura sighed and turned to the camera. "School starts soon…so spend the rest of your summer wisely before…you know."

* * *

"And we're back!" Yuko cheered. " Now, the winner is—"

Dramatic music is playing in the background as all of the boys leaned in close to hear.

"It starts with the letter…S!" Yuko exclaimed.

"Uh-huh…" All of the boys with names that start with the letter S nodded. (Which was a lot of them.)

"And he has or had considering that the boys are not wearing color contact lenses right now, mismatched eyes."

"Yeah and…"

"And…and…and!"

"AND WHAT!?"

Yuko was about to say something, but unfortunately the ground started to shake violently and everyone toppled over to the ground.

"What was that?" Yuko asked, standing back up to her feet and brushing some dirt off of her dress.

"I don't know but it wasn't, Tree-san." Seishrou said. "Though, he is pretty hungry right now…"

Then there was another shake and everyone toppled over once more. As everyone got up, the sky started to turn dark and it began to rain.

"Wasn't it a clear day just a moment ago?" R! Syaoran asked.

The rain started to downpour on everyone.

"Maybe it's the tree?" Kurogane jerked a thumb back at the tree that did look oddly suspicious.

"It's not Tree-san." Seishrou muttered. "Though—"

"We get it its hungry!"

"I wasn't—"

"Shut up!"

"Okay."

Then there was a large gust of wind that sent everyone flying all over the place. The shaking continued and so they were either flying with the sakura petals, bouncing on the ground that acted like a trampoline or both.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?" Kamui yelled as he bounced up and down and getting sakura petals in his hair in which it annoyed him.

"It's Sakura's and Fai's prediction! IT'S HURRICANE KURO!!" Mokona answered as it flew straight at the tree and held onto one of its branches tightly so it wouldn't fly away.

"Everyone! Hold onto the tree's branches!" Mokona exclaimed.

"No! It'll eat us alive!" Kamui retorted, grabbing onto the grass instead of the tree cause 1. He hates to be surrounded by sakura petals. 2, what he just said and 3 he's already holding onto something. But unfortunately the grass broke off and Kamui was carried off by the strong wind.

"Well, there goes one." Yuko said as she watched Kamui fly off into the distance.

"And another!" Fai exclaimed as he started to fly off also since he's practically a stick. "Wheeee! I believe I can fly!"

Kurogane turned to Fai who was trying to fly like a bird by waving his arms in the air. "YOU IDIOT!"

He ran towards the mage, jumped in the air and grabbed Fai's arm quickly before he could fly away like Kamui who was still flying some where in the distance.

"Kuro-puu saved me!" Fai cheered as he try to pounce on Kurogane put he pushed him away.

"Shut up, it's your damn fault that you're so damn light." Kurogane muttered as he dragged a giggling Fai back over to the tree where everyone else was clinging onto its branches.

Kurogane tossed Fai over at the tree and his body was draped over one of the branches like a towel.

"Kuro-puppy's strong!" Fai clapped in approval.

"SHUT UP!"

* * *

The next day…

"Guess what everyone!" Yuko opened a door and walked in to see Sakura, R! Syaoran, C! Syaoran (still in a straight jacket.), Kurogane, Fai and Mokona sitting around a table.

"What?" They asked.

"Feathers." C! Syaoran muttered.

R! Syaoran glared at him.

Yuko smiled and closed the door behind her. She pulled out a letter from her purse.

"We got a letter from the governor!" She slammed the paper on the surface on the table and called out in a joyful manner.

"We are fired! "

"Eh!?"

* * *

A/N: And there you have it! Many thanks goes to **TsubasaSyaoforever **who gave me the idea to do an Infinity trailer and show some clips from my other fic 'the CLAMP awards' which is another weird fanfic that I created. Thank you very, very much! Now I would've love to coutinue this fic but my ideas have now sunk since school's starting soon and I'm trying to finish as much as I can before school starts. It's going to be my first year of High School and I am going to be so busy I won't have much time to write my fics and a romance novel that I'm certiantly working on (yes I'm writting a novel too, belive it or not.).

So I guess this was a good place to stop the fic, having everyone fired from doing the news. Seriosuly, I have no more ideas for this fic so I leave it to this. I also have another fic that I'm working on right now "Lets Play" I'll probaly be able to update one or two more chapters before school starts. It's going to be a long fic depending on how much brain cells I have left in the school year. I'm also thinking about starting another fic, but now I should write them one at a time. So I made a poll in my profile that asks what fic should I start next and I have several fic ideas for TRC and X. But I should do each fic one at a time instead of doing several at the same time. So I have all of these ideas for a couple of fics but I want to write one right after I finish "Lets Play." So voting would be helpful!

Oh, and another thing...I know that almost everyone has been asking me...but YES! There is an Invinity OVA coming up in Febuary! I repeat THERE IS! I read it several times on a few fourms that there is going to be an Inifinity OVA! I don't like it how people don't think I'm telling the truth, I am, and if you still don't belive me you can check out the TRC fourms or LJ.

And about this fic...yes, it was random. Yes, Kurogane didn't beep because he wasn't being taped. And yes, Kamui flew away but he's okay becuase he' too awesome to just fly away and never come back! And the winner to the best boys award was Subaru (sorry if you wanted it to be some one else, but Subaru's awesome!) So anyways...thank you very much for reading and reviewing this strang fan fic! Thank you and you get a cookie!


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